Wouldn’t it be funny if I were dead.

I’d rather not get into this, a path I’d rather shut out

I saw the signs but I took the wrong road, and I followed you home.

Well, there was some connection, don’t tell me that I’m wrong.

You felt it to, we both know it was there all along.

I’m not wrong, I can’t be wrong. I’m not wrong.

I long for your touch, your smile, your embrace

Nothing makes me happier than the sight of your face.

Poison and lace, invading my hearts space

Constricting around it and its gone.

I’m gone and its begun, with you I’d always feel I’d won

Grand prize, its you, better than any before

With you I could open any door

But what was this for, darling tell me what for?

To communicate a sonar of a transit little lie

I can’t stand to watch you stare down, oh please look me in the eye

And while you break me, and while you tear my world apart

Don’t you dare try and tell me I was wrong from the start.

So take my heart, and take my hand, and you may forever keep them both.

God knows if another comes along, I won’t. I can’t, I’m telling you now.

I fell for your smile, and I’ll never find another like it again.

So if this is it, I guess that’s so. But I’m telling you now, I’ll never let you go.

I’ll never let it go, these feelings will forever be mine. 

You don’t have to share them, I’m content with keeping them to myself.

I’m content with watching and waiting, never asking for your help.

But I promise once more, I’ll stay on the floor.

Right where you left me, as you walked out that door.

I was avoiding doing this just from the fear of making it worse, but there’s nothing else I can do. I’m going to write hundreds of poems tonight, good and bad, about you and this situation. Its the only way I’ll get any of it out.

Nobody read this.

I have no idea where I went wrong, or how it became so that I wasn’t good enough for you. I should have expected it from the start, considering you and then who I am, you have always been way out of my league, I don’t deserve you, that’s great, I get it. I just don’t understand, because when you gave me that completely cliche “I hope we can still be best friends I just don’t think I feel the same way as you” I felt close to nothing. That gut feeling I’ve felt so many times returned once again and like a kick to the face every single bad feeling I’ve ever felt came rushing back to me. I don’t get it, I’ve always been as sweet as I could. I know I’m not attractive, the only thing I can really offer is that I am a really nice guy and have a pretty good sense of humor. I made sure to make you smile every single day, I told you every sweet thing I could without sounding stupid about it, even sounding dumb sometimes. So why am I still not good enough? I could have guessed I wouldn’t be, but God now that it sinks in the feeling just gets worse. I haven’t thought of a girl like this in a long time and for a reason, but you made me think that was all the past and I could open myself up again, nope can’t do that. I really hope you don’t read this, I don’t want to upset you. I don’t know what to do with myself today, I can’t write music, I can’t write poetry, nothing sounds good and nothing I turn on can keep my attention. I’ll end up laying here in silence staring at the trees outside. I’m stupid, this is all my mistake and my fault.